Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it
and put it back into your pocket.
and put it back into your pocket.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.
4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
5.You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
6. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it's such a nice change from being young.
8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
10. Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf. And, finally, If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
No comments:
Post a Comment