Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Dawn always comes after the darkest hour. . .

Life is so good right now! My job is going really well. I got to travel to Oregon to cover a story last weekend, and I am learning all kinds of things that will help me improve my writing.

But life hasn't always been so great. Just a few weeks ago I thought I was going to fall apart. This summer I started an internship, and the same day I moved in to a new apartment with a whole bunch of other girls. These girls were very different from me. It was a struggle, to say the least. They were good girls, but we just weren't compatible.

A couple of weeks into my job I got really sick. I missed a day of work. That same day my grandma passed away.

My dad heard on the radio that the top three stressors that people experience are moving to a new place, starting a new job and a death in the family. Hmmm. When it rains, it pours!

I'm used to living in LDS areas. Twin Falls seems to have a lot of non-mormons. I'm also around a different type of college student because I am living in CSI student housing. It was a real struggle for me before the spring semester let out. Sex and bad language seemed to be all around me. And it wasn't necessarily sex with the opposite gender! I had to learn to be strong in the face of all these things. I had to know that what I believed in was right.

Besides all that, I began to struggle with my confidence. Perhaps it was all the things I was facing. I certainly didn't feel very adequate to meet all these challenges. I missed my horse and the way things used to be at my parents' home. It started to get harder to read my scriptures and say my prayers every day and go to church every week. I seemed to always be so tired. I didn't want to keep doing the things I knew to be right. It seemed like too much work. I didn't want to do anything bad. I was just tired.

But I just couldn't let myself sink into that trap! I started reading my scriptures more often. I started praying with more gratitude. I tried to be more healthy so I wasn't so tired. My old roommates moved out, and I have some new ones. I tried to reach out beyond myself at work. I almost gave up.

But now I feel that I'm back on my feet. It's looking like I might be able to buy another horse. One of my best friends is engaged, and I am so happy for her. (That's another long story.) I feel so happy whenever I pray and study my scriptures, and I love going to church. My roommate situation has changed with the semester.

It always gets better, right when you think it won't. Always hang on, even if you think you can't.