Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dancing Blues

Last Saturday I went to a dance with two of my roommates. First we went to ballroom dancing, and then we went to latin dancing. I had a lot of fun at first. I only had three dances the whole night, one in particular that was great fun. One was a pity dance because I was sitting on the sidelines for so long. Another one was a guy who didn't care which one of us three danced with him.

However, my roommates both got asked over and over. They are both really cute and really good dancers. I didn't mind at first. It didn't bother me. But towards the end, I found myself alone more and more often. When my roommate left me again, I couldn't help but feel left out and overlooked.

I began to think. I was pretty content with just three dances--maybe even just one. But for some reason, when I realized that I wasn't getting as many dances as my roommates, I started to feel left out. That is so strange. It wasn't until I compared my situation to someone else's that I had a problem.

Now I wonder. . . why is that so? Is it just natural for me to feel that way? Or is it pride? C.S. Lewis said something to the effect that pride is having to have more than others. I'm pretty sure I would have been fine if I'd had more dances than my roommates. I would have felt sorry for them, but I wouldn't have felt so down.

I thought it was a revealing moment for me. I guess I need to grow up and not compare myself with others. I didn't know so many people at the dances as they did, and I'm really tall. That makes a world of difference. It doesn't mean that I'm not worth something.

I have it figured out in my head. Now I've got to make my beliefs consistent with it, so that my actions and feelings are what they should be.

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